Hello ! I am an attractive, fit Forty-nine year old mom of a few girls (14, 17, 30). I was married for Twenty years, now single designed for 4 years. For the past four years I have been in a long-term committed connection with a 54 year old man. He will be attractive, intelligent (college education), funny, fit, has never been recently married, no kids yet numerous very long term romantic relationships. He is a sane, patient, patient person who puts a high concern on trust and honesty. He looks out for my well-being, is romantic with e-cards, sweet emails, etc. He’s affectionate, well dressed, and generous with gifts in my opinion and kind deeds. He’s as well attentive to my kids & their lives, although by my choice, they have very little interaction. We live about 33 miles away from each other along with take turns staying at each individual other’s homes on my kid-free 2 or 3 weeks most nights that I am free of charge.
My areas of concern are:
One) His financial situation: I’m your self-sufficient homeowner who doesn’t want financial support. He stop his career in business pertaining to 7 years ago to practice being a full time artist. In the time he has depleted each one of his savings, his 401k, as well as being maxing out his credit cards. They have hinted about needing to move into a new studio apartment at my home. He may end up filing for bankruptcy – although views it as “suffering with regard to his art”. He seems not wanting to take other jobs in which take away from his craft career… but I am worried we are headed for a crisis. We help him out with marketing, PR, etc. for the art but it’s some sort of tough way to make a living! This individual still tries to split all of our entertainment/travel expenses 50/50 and has never requested money.
Some people recognize that gender is the icing on the cake and never the cake itself, and also this allows them to have happy connections with average sex existence (as opposed to the more common dreadful relationship with great love-making).
2) Decline in passion – certainly not surprisingly with his financial troubles looming, I’m sure he is distressed and our sex life possesses over time dwindled to a quickie here and there, typically to cater to my advanced of “need”… we are compatible and get each other, but my sexual desire far surpasses his…. can I live with this particular? It may be situational, but he may have lower libido than my own. He’s not really a passionate kisser – with the exception of during sex – and I miss this!
I smashed things off about 18 months ago for the reasons of lack of passion, concerns they would never want to get married, etcetera. but after dating some others for a bit, decided which he was a much better fit along with started dating him yet again. I’m much more settled as being a single mom, don’t choose to cohabitate/marry while my kids are still in your house, and truly love this kind of man. What should I undertake?
Thank you for being the latest exhibit in Women Who Answer Their Own Questions While Asking These individuals.
So let’s get this straight:
You have a very 14-year-old daughter.
You write, “I don’t want to cohabitate/marry while my kids are still at home.Inches Sounds to me like you aren’t getting married to everyone, much less your starving specialist boyfriend. I may or may not accept your black and white thinking yet it’s not my job to know you that. You don’t want to receive married while the kids are at home? Great. Don’t get married.
Thus, ones question isn’t really pertaining to marriage. It’s about the fact that you were dating the same man for three years and you’re ambivalent about your persistence for him, given his not one but two main flaws.
But, once again, this is not a question that everybody else can answer. All I am able to do is ask an individual more questions.
Have you ever chatted with your boyfriend about his particular libido? I mean, you’ve been with each other for 3 years